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Are you like me? Planning a wedding can be fun, exciting … and stressful. Planning a honeymoon, however, is a dream. Now is the chance to splurge on that dream trip guilt free. Here are some of things re my wedding I care about, and things that I don’t, and why I’m planning a wedding badly.
“I guess I should organize getting an officiant,” my fiancé Mark said when he dropped me off at the airport.
“Great idea,” I said. That sounded perfect. While I went off to Thailand for six weeks, he could start organizing our wedding. I knew there was a reason I was marrying him. Four months later, I’m back from Thailand and neither of us have contacted an officiant. Plenty of time, we tell each other. Six whole months. But we really should get started.
At least we have a venue. No moss growing on these stones here. We chose the Roof Salon at the Toronto Park Hyatt. Skyline city view. A lofty patio in case it’s a warm October evening. Out of town guests can stay there and the Hyatt will even bake our wedding cake. Actually, if they’re that efficient maybe they could call the officiant.
Because one thing seems clear. The more Mark and I discuss our wedding, the more obvious it is that certain things are fun to plan and therefore we’re on them immediately, like the honeymoon. Now that, I care about. Other things … not so much. Even if we should.
Things I don’t care about:
I was all for eloping. My parents eloped to Paris – how romantic is that? But Mark says that a ceremony is to pledge your commitment in front of your friends and family (no, I’m not kidding, he really said that), and with all the tough things my family has gone through the last couple of years with illness and the loss of my much-much-loved father, it would be nice to be able to celebrate something for a change.
Can’t a couple of guests snap some photos and email us? “No!” says Michele Peterson, my extremely organized unofficial wedding planner.
“Because you’ll look at these for years to come.”
“Really, though? Am I really going to sit and study my photos, thinking back dreamily to the Biggest Day of My Life?” Not bloody likely – though I suppose it’s possible if I get a really hot dress.
And when I think about some of the photos that my girl, Julia Pelish, a photographer from Vacay.ca has taken of me when we’ve worked together, I have to say that a flattering photo does wonders for your self image – even if it is an illusion created by good lighting.
To say I don’t care about my dress isn’t strictly true. I care that I don’t look like an idiot in a thigh-clinging mermaid dress or one of those big tiered puffy-from-the-waist-down extravaganzas. Because I’m not twenty. I’m not even thirty. (I’m not even … hang on, that’s none of your business.)
I don’t want a wedding dress. I want The Most Beautiful Dress In The World that I can then wear on my European honeymoon when I’m sitting back at Brenner’s Park in Baden-Baden, sipping champagne.
It’s not easy finding the most beautiful dress in the world that you can wear both to your wedding and on your honeymoon, so maybe that’s why this afternoon I’m going to David’s Bridal store to try on dresses that I don’t think I want. It’s amazing how, once you get on the wedding planning trail, it’s hard to get off the tried and true path of traditional dresses. This may call for a trip to New York, not to Kleinfeld’s from Say Yes to the Dress, a store I hadn’t even known the name of until I started planning a wedding, but to Saks with a personal shopper, who may understand what I, a not-too-traditional bride, may need. Saks? Are you listening?
I come from a family of artists. My mother, Dorothy Knowles, is a gardener extraordinaire. I also live on a street lined with flower shops. Surely between my sisters and my mother and I we could buy some loose flowers and arrange them in vases so that they look magnificent. And don’t the flowers only have to last one day? Couldn’t you just, you know, buy them at a grocery store?
Don’t even get me started on invitations. How am I going to find all these addresses? Can’t we email people?
Obviously, I have a long way to go when it comes to organizing a wedding in a manner it deserves. That’s why we have the Hyatt. And Michele. And, with any luck, an officiant in the not too far off future.
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