A life of mishaps – Park Plaza Westminster Bridge Hotel

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Let me tell you about the Park Plaza Westminster Bridge Hotel in London, England. It’s round. It’s groovy. It’s not too expensive and has t0-die-for food – even in the bar – and it’s dimly-lit with plenty of mood lighting. It’s right near the London Eye – a big fancy slow-moving ferris wheel with a view, plus it’s just across the bridge from Big Ben.

None of that has anything to do with my story except possibly for the round part. I’ve heard the Park Plaza Westminster Bridge Hotel is the largest hotel in London but as of now (due to my laziness) that’s an unsubstantiated fact.

The Park Plaza Westminster Bridge Hotel was only 12 days old when I stayed there. Just a baby. And possibly, just possibly, the signs that tell you where to go to find your room are misleading. I wasn’t drunk. I just went back to my room one night and started down the hall looking for 469 and couldn’t find it. So I wove around searching for it. And around. And around. And I had high heels on so I was probably doing the I-can’t-walk-in-high-heels-anymore knees-forward lunge walk. After a very long time I ended up back at the elevators. I saw a man in a cap.

“I’ve been looking  for my room forever!” I said.

Then I walked on. And as I turned a corner I heard, “Where is she?” I heard the man in the cap say, “She’s just around the corner.”

And then a security guard came around the corner. “Are you lost, Miss?” (He might have said ma’am, but I prefer to remember ‘miss.’ )

Picture a limping blond covering her mouth in embarrassment. “How did you know?”

“We have cameras, Miss.”

So that’s the story of how I got lost in my hotel. And found by a security guard. And had to be escorted to my room. How’s that for being looked after? And let me say, the staff are incredibly polite and kind. Even if/when they’ve been laughing at you in the cameras for hours.

Read more: about top places to visit in England

Read more: about my picks for top European destinations