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Do you love travelling? Do other people constantly ask you why you’re never home? Take my 10 Ways to tell when you travel too much and prove them
1) Have you ever gone alone to a hotel bar in Paris, Seoul and/or Budapest and been mistaken for a hooker?
My answer: Sadly, yes.
2) Do you have a permanent luggage docking station in your home?
My answer: Yes. In my foyer. It’s a total eyesore.
3) Do you ask for extra pages when you get a new passport?
My answer: Yes. Doesn’t everyone?
4) Have you ever said on video that you’re in one country when you’re actually in another by mistake?
My answer: Yes. I said I was in Costa Rica when I’ve never even been there. I was actually in Nicaragua. Luckily, it was edited out.
5) Do you know what the Travelers’ Century Club is?
My answer: Yes – it’s for people who have travelled to 100 or more countries.
6) Have you ever considered joining the Travelers’ Century Club?
My answer: Not seriously. Should I?
7) How about the Mile High Club?
My answer: Not.
8) Have you lost count of how many countries you’ve been to?
My answer: Yes.
9) Have you ever overstayed a visa?
My answer: Yes. In Thailand, but they’re very nice about it if you pay a fine. Don’t quote me on that.
10) Have you ever been mistakenly given a scientific visa for a country instead of a tourist visa and gone anyway?
My answer: Yes. India. I felt very intelligent.
11) Bonus question: Have you ever travelled around a country with an air ticket in a different name?
My answer: Yes. In Egypt. I took the place of someone on a conference and the organizers never changed the name on the domestic flights. It freaked me right out but the organizer kept saying it didn’t matter. Luckily, I wasn’t arrested, but I still had visions of languishing in an Egyptian jail.
12) Bonus question – have you ever had a complete conversation with a taxi driver and not realized you’re speaking different languages until a third party points it out?
My answer: Of course! Sign language and a smile trumps words.
What do your answers mean? Do you travel too much or not?
0-2 yes answers: No, you don’t travel too much, you travel too little. Get out there and explore. Walking around the block doesn’t count.
3-10 yes answers: No, you don’t travel too much. You’re not always on the road, but understand that travel broadens your horizons, while sitting on the couch broadens your butt. You have a healthy balance between home and away. Well done.
10-12 yes answers: Yes, you travel too much! Slow down and smell the jet fuel. You travel around the globe so often you are permanently 12 hours ahead of yourself. If you don’t start pacing yourself you will … still really enjoy yourself, but jet lag will become a chronic condition.
PS: Yes, I travel too much.
Read more: About travel – Why travel and writing are lovers
The hooker incident sounds great. Did you get an applause.