Spa review: The secret Isle of Women

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Remember the floating palace on the island filled with beautiful women in the James Bond flick Octopussy?

Yes, well, right here in Toronto a secret Isle of Women really does exist. And sorry, guys, no men allowed. Body Blitz – health by water, is on 471 Adelaide and right from the moment I got to choose my own mud (no, not for mud wrestling, but for a mud scrub treatment) I knew that this was the right place to retreat. And yes, men, it truly is what you’re thinking, scantily clad women in short kimonos, bikinis, or … nothing at all  frolicking in the water and lounging on bright red recliners. Because that’s what we do when you’re not around. Yes. Really. That’s what we do.

The big hit at Body Bliss is the water therapies. There is a large room full of various pools, and a circuit to follow that is pure watery bliss. Or should I say blitz? You start off in a warm pool with Dead Sea Salts (and don’t miss the jets on the sides that will give you an excellent lower back massage while you soak). Then comes a steam bath and an infra-red sauna – purported to be much better for cellulite than a regular sauna. Not that any of us have cellulite. Because we’re all beautiful as we frolic around in the spa. Interspersed with these heat treatments is a vicious cold plunge pool that is a brutal shock but extremely reviving. And then my favourite – well, next to the Dead Sea Salt Pool – is the hot Green Tea pool. Soak up those anti-oxidents and re-enact the life of a tea bag!  While frolicking.

Spending the afternoon in a chiclets-only spa brings to mind the enduring myths of female-dominated islands. Take the mysterious Isle of Avalon, where a dying King Arthur was brought to have his wounds tended by the witchy Morgan La Fey (sure, you think she’s bad, but she was actually a healer, so please, rethink your legend).

Or how about the Greek island of Lesbos, where the poet Sappho lived in the 6th century BC and instructed a group of young women aboutculture while writing her poetry about womenhood, women’s lives and women’s rituals.

Then of course there are those wicked Sirens, luring men to their death in the sea. Temptation. Seduction. And murder! But I bet if you delve enough into history, those Sirens have their good side, too. I mean, aside from the really good voices and rockin’ hot looks. Because men – and I hate to burst your bubble, I really do – but it’s time you knew. We don’t actually always frolic and have pillow fights when you aren’t around (don’t worry, though, sometimes we do), and NEWS FLASH we’re not all inherently evil either, and you can’t blame us for everything you do that is wrong, like, for example, when you drown at sea, no matter what the male-written myths might tell you. Except, of course, when we really are luring you to your death with our irresistible Siren songs, which we hardly ever do.

And finally, you should know that not all female-run islands are full of femme fatales out to get men… sometimes they’re out to escape men. That would be Paradise Island, the hidden secret island where none other than Wonder Woman called home. This is where she lived along with her fellow Amazons. In peace and harmonious enjoyment. And no men were allowed. Hey, that sounds just like Body Blitz spa.