Would you sleep with these men of Paris?

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Check out these men at the Louvre. Historical hotties or not?

My first day in Paris and of course I’m looking at the men! Isn’t that the definition of sightseeing? Isn’t it all part of an art vacation? Maybe jet lag has affected me just a teensy bit, or the weirdly-addictive Bachelorette has become ingrained in my psyche because I’ve been totally seduced by the romance of Paris.

So come on, share my Fifty Shades of Paris bad behaviour and be my wing woman (or man) on my manhunt through the Louvre. Do these eligibles meet your standards? Would you sleep with these men of Paris?

Let me play you a little love song

Check! He dresses well, has nice eyes and will serenade you with a lute. I think it’s a lute.

What’s your sign?

Dude, what’s with the hat? And you look a little sleepy. And maybe a few push-ups? Sorry, it’s a no.

Too much information

Okay, we all love Rubens and his Marie de’ Medici Cycle series of paintings in the Louvre is magnificent, but um, someone should tell this guy that you have to play hard to get.

Come here often?

I’m sorry, I just can’t get past the hand. Sweetie, is your arm just really little?

Now we’re talking. He obviously has some money and he looks good in black. I’m sure he moves in the right circles. Take a razor to his beard and I’d give him a rose.

I work out

You can tell a lot about a man by his friends. No, no, no, no. no.

You caught my eye from across the room

The French-language blurb beside this painting from 1550 says – if my translation is correct – that the portrait is ‘without doubt a lesson in vanity’ but I still give him two thumbs up, mainly because he’s one of the few men at the Louvre not wearing a stupid hat.

Back to stupid hats

And finally, it just doesn’t matter what I think about this Rubens creation because I’m pretty sure he doesn’t swing my way, but I wonder if that winged fedora helps him fly?

Travel tips for the Louvre

Entrance is to the Louvre is 10 Euros. If you want to avoid the line ups, consider going on Wednesday or Friday evenings when it’s open late.

Read more about Top Destinations in Europe