Let’s face it. These animals have not mastered the art of grooming. I bet they’ve never plucked an eyebrow hair in their life. They are not going to picked to become reality TV stars or to Star in the Amazing Race Canada. They need our help. They are the animals of loveable little High Park Zoo in Toronto.
The mean old city of Toronto stopped funding the zoo in 2012. How could it desert these beauty contestants? How can you not love them? (And want to comb their hair?) Here’s the lineup of the sexiest group of misfits you will ever see. Sign the petition and give these sweethearts their due.
Beauty Contestant #1: Highland Cow
Highland Cow is even tempered, healthy, hardy and has a double-layered coat. Pretty Highland Cow likes mud baths at the spa, Chinese contemporary art (she is very excited about seeing the Ai Wei Wei show at the Art Gallery of Ontario) and long walks through Scottish pastures.
Beauty Contestant #2: Probably-A-Llama-But-Could-Be-An-Alpaca-Because-Carol-Forgot-To-Read-The-Sign
Probably-A-Llama-But-Could-Be-An-Alpaca-Because-Carol-Forgot-To-Read-The-Sign sports a Bohemian hippy style and enjoys the fashions of the Olsen Twins. She (he?) enjoys hanging around with capybaras, bison and geese in her spare time – please note the half a head of a goose at the bottom of the picture – and reads Sartre and Nietzsche in the evenings.
Beauty Contestant #3: Capybara
Capybara is proud to be a member of the elite private club, The-Largest-Rodent-Known-To-Man Society. She enjoys swimming, breeding and getting Watermelon Vodkatini Pedicures from Stillwater Spa at the Toronto Park Hyatt on her adorable webbed feet.
Beauty Contestant #4: One, possibly two, Yaks
One-Possibly-Two-Yaks has impressive lung capacity and enjoys grunting. She likes mountain climbing and, topping out at about 2,000 pounds, is interested in following the Skinny Girl Diet, although not that interested.
So do what you can
So there you have it, folks. How can you not sign the petition to bring funding back to the zoo? These animals need a trip to the beauty salon, they need some treats, they need a good brushing and a wee slice of the appreciation that normally goes to all those high profile snooty Chinese pandas and White Siberian Tigers.
Seriously, though, the High Park Zoo is funded by donations right now, and there are two zookeepers, maintenance, etc … so let’s help and sign.
Leave a comment here and let me know who you’re top pick for beauty queen is, and if Contestant #2 is an alpaca or a llama.
Sign the petition online, donate or get more info at HighParkZoo.ca. Or go see the animals for yourself at the zoo. Happy celebrity spotting.